In My Head


Thursday, April 27, 2006
Note: I updated this post with a link to the original post from January here.

When I got home from work last night, there was a brown Fed Ex package waiting for me on my doorstep. The address label bore the Random House logo.

I brought it in to the kitchen and opened it. Two copies of the paperback edition of The Myth of You and Me slid out onto the kitchen table, along with a lovely cover letter from Sally Kim, a senior editor at RH.

I have to tell ya, it was pretty exciting to see my very own words printed inside a book, alongside my name. The only bummer is that they didn't use my full name--for legal reasons, I suppose . I was also asked to change the name of the person about whom I wrote (again, for legal reasons).

But I guess that doesn't matter. It shows my name, my town, and my story.

The thing that tickled me the most was that not a single word of my writing was edited. I am truly shocked by that. As a writer, one becomes accustomed to having their material ripped to pieces and reconstructed for clarity and conciseness and grammar. But this time, my story was captured exactly as I'd dashed it off on Leah's website.

As for the novel, I began reading it around 10:30 p.m. and was nearly finished by midnight, when my tired eyes finally gave out on me. So far, it's an excellent story about intense female friendship. The protagonist is realistic, accessible and to me, eerily relatable.

I highly recommend this book, and not just because I'm a little biased.

Labels: , , ,


Posted by Lori at 4/27/2006 10:27:00 AM |
Monday, April 24, 2006
I'm back, and I finally feel somewhat normal again. For two straight weeks after my grandpa died, I felt like I was in a total fog. I had the worst insomnia EVER, and sleeping is the one thing I truly excel at doing. It took me hours to fall asleep, and when I finally did, I was waking up intermittently throughout the night. I'm still having a bit of trouble sleeping, but not as much as before. But for the most part, it seems I've gotten back into my usual routine...going to the gym, cooking real meals, cleaning up the house, doing yardwork. Thankfully.

The weekend was mostly a washout, due to all the rain we got, so I did some housework on Saturday. Then I got sucked into watching VH-1's 100 Greatest Teen Stars. Seeing all those poster boys from Tiger Beat reminded me how completely boy-crazy I was, even as a little girl. Come to think of it, I'm still kinda boy-crazy. I just love men! I can't relate to women who stop looking at other men as soon as they're married, or even in a relationship. How is that possible? I am constantly checking guys out. And not just sexually--though I regularly encounter one or two guys I could imagine fucking within an inch of their lives, if I and/or they weren't married or otherwise attached. I can usually see at least a few redeeming qualities in most men, even those who wouldn't be considered conventionally attractive--especially if a guy can make me laugh. A guy with a great sense of humor is so freaking hot to me...it almost trumps any other quality or personality trait, in my eyes. I guess I just appreciate the differences between men and women.

Anyway, back on track. Yesterday, I took my mom out shopping for the afternoon. My biggest purchase was a post hole digger from Home Depot, woohoo. Then I came home and mowed the lawn, did some laundry, hung some pictures, and installed the new cellular shade I'd bought for our bathroom window.

Next weekend: going to a bridal shower in upstate NY. Good times, y'all.

Labels: , , , , ,


Posted by Lori at 4/24/2006 11:32:00 AM |
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Well, I haven't posted here in a week, and it feels like it's been a month, honestly.

My grandfather (mom's dad) had a massive double stroke last Wednesday and died on Friday night at the hospital. It has been a very exhausting week.

I think I'm still in a bit of shock. My grandpa had been pretty healthy and perfectly independent. He moved in with my aunt six years ago, but other than that, he still drove, still did his own laundry, and at age 82, was still mentally as sharp as a tack.

No one is quite sure how or exactly when the strokes happened. He was alone at home, doing laundry. My uncle came home from work around 5 p.m. and thought my grandfather was sleeping, because he was in his chair in front of the TV, legs crossed at the ankle, arms folded over his belly, eyes closed, head upright. So my uncle quietly tiptoed around him, trying not to disturb him.

About ten minutes later, my aunt got home from her job and tried to wake him. He didn't respond, and it was only then that she noticed his hands had turned blue.

They called 911 and he was admitted to the ER, where he had a CAT scan of his brain that showed the double stroke. I got to the hospital at about 8:30 that night. He was moved to a private room around midnight. My cousins and I stayed until 2 a.m. in his room, holding his hand and talking to him, even though he never regained consciousness.

The next morning, the doctor called to tell my mother that Grandpa's breathing had become agonal, which typically means that death is imminent. We rushed to the hospital again and stayed for several hours, but his condition neither improved or worsened, so we all went home to get some food and sleep.

We went back to the hospital around 6 p.m. Everyone but me left at 8 p.m. I spend a few hours alone with him, for which I am ever so grateful. I sat next to his bed, held his icy-cold hand (he had no circulation in his left arm), and told him not to be afraid, that we loved him and believed that he loved us too, and to do whatever he needed to do and that we'd all be okay.

I went to work on Friday morning and got a call from my mom around noon. He had developed a high fever -- 104 degrees -- and the doctors believed that he was bleeding into his brain. I left work and went straight to the hospital. His breathing was not nearly as labored as it had been, but his face was beet-red from his temperature. The stroke had affected his hypothalamus, which is the organ that regulates body temp.

By 6 p.m., his fever was above 106 degrees, and his breathing was down to about ten breaths per minute, which is half the normal respiration rate. We knew he would die that night. And he did, at exactly 11:15 p.m., while I held his hand and my mom and uncles surrounded him.

His death was extremely peaceful. We watched his heart rate on the monitor slowly descend until it flatlined and saw him take his last breath. I am so, so glad that I was there for it. I needed to see it. And my mother needed me. Everyone else left shortly afterwards, but my mother and I waited for the house physician to stop by his room to officially pronounce him dead.

The weekend was a flurry of activity: picking out his burial outfit, making the funeral arrangements, writing his obituary, picking out readings for the Mass, booking the restaurant for the luncheon following the burial, and getting the word out to the extended family about his death.

I still can't believe it.

Labels: ,


Posted by Lori at 4/12/2006 11:30:00 AM |
Wednesday, April 05, 2006

My friend (and partner-in-crime) PJ and I have decided to go for a free private Krav Maga lesson next week.

What is Krav Maga, you ask? It's the method of self-defense used by the Israeli Army, who are clearly a bunch of bad-ass mofos.

Krav Maga is also what J-Lo used in her movie Angel Eyes. Or was it her movie Enough? I can never seem to get those two straight. Mostly because they both sucked. Oh well. It's the one where she's married to a really abusive guy and she finally decides she's had it and learns to fight, then totally cleans his clock. I think it's Enough.

PJ and I have been talking about doing this for at least the last three years, but we just never got around to doing anything about it. She recently brought it up again in conversation, and I had just seen a special interest story on our local news about it, so I believe the Universe is trying to tell us something.

So has anyone ever taken Krav Maga? What should I expect? Obviously, we're going for a beginner's free trial, so I know that I'm not going to morph into Elektra by the end of the session.

Hiiiii-yah!

Labels: , , ,


Posted by Lori at 4/05/2006 04:20:00 PM |
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I know I posted about this before, but I'm still stuck.

This past Saturday, our new sofa and chair for the basement arrived. They are upholstered in a brick reddish chenille. The sofa has two toss pillows upholstered in a geometric pattern, with little squares of the same color as the sofa, plus small chocolate brown and dark gold squares.

So what color should I paint the walls?

Here are some facts:

We are going for a cozy, masculine, pub-type of look.

The current carpet (which I hate) is a greyish-beige berber with little flecks of dark red, dark grey, and eggplant. Yuck, but I'll have to live with it for now.

The basement gets no natural light at all. The two windows down there are located in the unfinished part of the basement, behind closed doors. But there are many recessed lights in the ceiling of the finished portion of the room.

We're thinking of putting up chair rail moulding around the perimeter of the entire room.

I've been looking at a dark green with greyish undertones. Green is red's opposite on the color wheel, which supposedly is a good choice, according to many interior decorating websites I've seen. However, I'm afraid that putting a red sofa and chair against green walls will make it seem like Christmas year-round. Granted, the green is very dark, so maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

Then again, I've been looking at a chocolatey brown for the walls, a few shades lighter than the brown in the throw pillows.

Also, should I paint the wall two different colors if we do wind up installing a chair rail? Like a darker color on the bottom half of the wall and a lighter color on the top half?

Usually I am pretty good at picking colors and pulling a decorating scheme together. I don't know why I'm struggling so much this time. I think it's because the walls are currently two different but equally garish shades of robin's egg blue. It looks like a Smurf threw up all over the basement. If the walls were off-white, it would probably be easier to make a decision.

I promise I'll post some photos soon.

Labels: ,


Posted by Lori at 4/04/2006 09:33:00 AM |
Saturday, April 01, 2006
This promises to be the most awesomely bad movie of 2006. There has been TONS of buzz already.

I first heard about it on this guy's blog. He's a screenwriter in L.A. And I thought that it was a complete joke.

But it's not!

Sam Jackson is going to do battle with snakes on a motherfuckin' plane, y'all!

And today I found this little piece of comic gold. Listen to it with the sound on...it's not obscene, but the music that accompanies it just kills me for some reason. I guess it reminds me of the totally hoopty Casio 7800 keyboard I used back in 1984.

My favorite?

Snakes That Abstain: "These snakes ain't fuckin'!"

(And just in case you think this is an April's Fool's joke...here's the actual trailer. Enjoy!)

Labels: , ,


Posted by Lori at 4/01/2006 07:31:00 PM |

Site Meter