In My Head
We rented the movie "Crash" on Friday night. What a powerful, interesting story! It really made me think. Definitely not a feel-good piece, though. At the end of it, I was quite disturbed for the remainder of the evening, even though it attempted to go out on a high note with the suggestion of redemption.
Overall, I thought it was an excellent movie. Of course, I think that any movie with Don Cheadle is great, so no surprise there. It featured quite an ensemble of actors: Sandra Bullock (in a decidedly different role), Matt Dillon, Thandie Newton, Ludacris (who I thought did a great job), Larenz Tate, Brendan Fraser, and Ryan Phillippe.
We spent most of the day Saturday painting our bedroom. Between Coat #1 and Coat #2, I did endless loads of laundry, and made French onion soup.
Time-out: can someone please tell me how two adults manage to create SO MUCH DIRTY LAUNDRY? I did four loads over the weekend, and when I opened the hamper this morning, it was full again! Maddening!
October 21 marked the beginning of my 28th year on this planet. The Huz surprised me with Rachael Ray's newest cookbook, and we went out to dinner with some friends of ours. It was a great time.
I can't believe I'm 28. It seems that all my life, I have been waiting for my chronological age to catch up with my perception of my maturity. In school, I often felt frustrated by my classmates, because they acted so much younger than I did. Most times, my good friends were several years older...I got along with them better, and felt that they understood me, too.
Now, however, it seems that it's going the other way for me. At what point will I feel like a "grown-up"? This is something I ponder all the time.
I am married with a mortgage. I have been working a full-time job since I was 21, and have even remained in the same industry. I have a platinum MasterCard and an impeccable credit rating. I subscribe to Reader's Digest (well...I didn't subsribe to it; my dad gave me a gift subscription to it...but still, I read it every month when it comes!). I garden and cook for pleasure, for pete's sake, which I had always considered "old people hobbies." I can't remember the last time I got sick from drinking too much. Yet, I still feel like a kid most of the time.
Last week, I received an invitation to my 10-year high school reunion, which is being held the Friday night after Thanksgiving. I decided to attend, just out of blatant curiosity, since I was never really close to anyone in my class. So after I RSVP'ed yes, I logged onto Classmates.com because I'm nosy, and wanted to see what my fellow Class of 1995 grads were up to. Many of them have a kid...or three!
I'm still not sure if I even want to be a parent. I like my life the way it is now! I only have to take care of myself, my two cats, and my husband (to a reasonable degree). I still cannot imagine being wholly responsible for another human being, 24/7. It scares me. I don't know where I'd get the energy to do it. And I'd be afraid to mess it up. Don't get me wrong, I loooove kids. Just can't imagine birthing and raising one at the moment.
Maybe if/when I have a kid, I'll finally feel like an adult. But still, not in any hurry to do it. Much to my mother-in-law's dismay. Ugh.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Labels: childhood, deep thoughts, holidays, home improvement, life events, memories, movies, parenting, weekends
