In My Head
Remember how I had tied myself into a veritable ball of knots for the past year while studying for the ASPPA Qualified 401K Administrator designation? And how many hours of sleep I lost due to my extreme anxiety about taking those damn exams?
Well, just call me a total sucker for punishment. Because now I'm mulling over the idea of going for the latest ASPPA designation, the QPFC (Qualified Plan Financial Consultant). This designation is brand spanking new--it was just created this year.
I just have this thing for collecting as many designations as I possibly can. Most likely because I don't have a college degree and I feel like I need all the professional credentials I can get. I already have the NASD Series 6 and 63. I already have the Pennsylvania life insurance and annuities license. I already have the QKA designation.
Since I already have the QKA, ASPPA will waive two of the four exams for the QPFC designation for me. So that leaves only the PFC-1 and PFC-2 exams.
It's tempting. So very tempting. But studying for these exams is an enormous time-suck. Three months of my life devoted, in nearly a monastic way, to studying. Housework falls to the wayside. Working out falls to the wayside. My social life falls to the wayside. My marriage falls to the wayside. And yet, it's like a need. I must do it, just to prove to myself that I can. There is no other explanation.
In the week or so before the exam, I am an utter wreck. Insomnia sets in. I cannot fall asleep, and when I finally do, I cannot remain asleep. I cannot eat. I feel like there is a 250-pound weight on my chest, and I cannot take a deep breath.
After I pass the exam, I have no idea what to do with myself for at least a month. I feel like a stranger in my own life.
There are many things to consider, not the least of which is that The Huz and I are trying to conceive. I'm afraid that I will get pregnant and either lose interest in the exam altogether, or I will be so exhausted and mentally distracted that I'll fail it.
What the heck should I do?
Labels: accomplishments, decisions, work
